Movies

An elite bromance, and the guy did the background music for this gave the performance of a lifetime.

I wish I could swing through the streets of New York like Spider-Man. The Jean Gray introduction was fun, but the climax felt lacking. Like they should have teamed up after reconciling to defeat another villain. I did not know Tramell Tillman was in this movie, but boy was the a pleasant surprise. Also, this move was more emotional than I had expected going in.

I like when a movie make you ask yourself a question about what you would do in the same scenario. Also, Alana Haim’s character is the absolute worst.

Repeats basically all the same notes of the first movie, but not in a bad way? Meryl Streep continues to display impeccable comedic timing while playing a stone cold bitch. The Big Tech mogul was incredibly cringe.

Hugh Grant, allergic to sitting down.

Hugh Jackman is a theater geek trapped in the body of a leading man.

The Odyssey lives up to the hype and is an overall incredible movie. It has the classic Nolan-isms. Chopped up time scenes with Odysseus and Calypso. Multiple totems. I enjoyed all the things that come up in the beginning of the movie that are circled back to in the end. The entire cast was great. This might be enough to get Damon a "lifetime achievement" best actor Oscar while also not being a true standout performance by itself. Anne Hathaway really went for it in and did some great things with her face in a few scenes. Robert Pattinson continues to climb up my power rankings by being fun in everything he's in. Zendaya was good, but the gods did not play a large role in the story in general. Charlize Theron has no business looking that good while playing a character that lives on a beach for years with no shade. Benny Safdie plays a scary Greek Darth Vader. Love anytime Berthnal gets to play a meathead. John Leguizamo is one of my favorite "oh that guy" actors. Himesh Patel is becoming a favorite of mine after Station Eleven, Tenet, and now this. This movie was noticeably less sexual that the poem, but Calypso saying "You liked it so much. You ate it so willingly." to Odysseus regarding the lotus flower was some insanely horny dialogue. IMO Matt Damon needed more shirtless scenes to show off how ripped he got for this film as a 55 year old man. It was also not that funny, not that it needed to be, but opening/closing the movie with a Travis Scott monologue was randomly hilarious to me. I was tense for a lot of scenes, but I did not think it was particularly scary, except for the scene where Circe shapes Odysseus' crew into animals which was terrifying. Speaking of animals, the dog stuff in the movie was extremely effective at emotionally manipulating me as an audience member. I wanted to go full ending Odysseus reveal and murder everyone who had even been mean to Argos. My final note is the shifting trees in the giants scene was cool.

You can’t stop paying attention at any moment because the joke density is so high.

Likes: - How this movie started off in media res and kept its momentum all the way to the end - Emily Blunt was great and had some really funny moments - Coleman Domingo’s outerwear game - The concept of aliens being more connected to nature than humans - The stones looked cool - The feeling of watching a movie and thinking you need to reread a part of the Bible after Dislikes: - It was too focused on the secret government agency and left me wanting more of the aliens - The concept of “Disclosure Day” being successful in the way it was done in this movie would be more realistic if it was set in the 90’s or early 2000’s than in the 2020’s - The whole “btw WW3 is being on at the same time” thing really got yadayada’d - Some of the dialogue was clunky

No movie has ever gotten a physical reaction out of me inside a movie theater the way this movie did. When I was not recoiled in suspense/horror, I was recoiled from the cringe in the best possible way. Less comedic and more dark than I had expected. Inde Navarrette blew me away with her incredible physical performance as "Freaky Nikki." Just top notch facial expression, neck, and eye work here. Whoever was in charge of filming her in the scenes where she was in the peripheral vision of the camera lens deserves an award because even if she was blurred, i could FEEL her presence and just KNEW what her face was doing. Same goes for when she was in a shadow. Talk about letting the cat out of the bag (SPOILER-Y thoughts)...: - I respect Ian's love of trivia. - Enjoyed the meta parts of this movie, particularly when Nikki accuses Bear of not knowing the difference between a romance and a love story. - Tell your crush you're into her, dammit! - I never knew duct tape could look so upsetting. - Loved the customer service phone call scene. - The time you truly get to know a person for real is at 2:30am.

Went in expecting this to kinda suck, but it was a fun erotic thriller/possibly unintentional dark comedy. Amanda Seyfried did a great job playing a crazy person. Sydney Sweeney did a job playing a hot person. Whoever played the husband was well cast. I hate a foreboding doll house reflective of the real house. This cast of characters has a level of pain tolerance that far exceeds my own.

A Star Wars movie should feel big, but this movie felt small. Could have been a half-season arc of The Mandalorian. Would love to see Din’s character arc make some progress. That said, good action, good music (s/o my boy Ludwig), good vehicles, and incredible baby cooing sounds.

An R-rated comedy that really earns its R rating. It has a funny script and is filled with several memorable side characters that punch above their weight in their limited screen time. Matt Dillon is incredibly committed to the bit as the main villain. My favorite scenes were the zipper, the rest stop, the hair gel, and the dog fight. The comedic bits hold up incredibly well for being 28 years old, though you could nitpick the Warren character. The Tucker character felt awkward to watch because the cerebral palsy flailing was over the top, but it made sense later after the scammer reveal. Was really not expecting the Brett reveal.

Mostly just love the 95 minute runtime. I wish the movie showed more of the main couple actually falling in love with each other. The girl was just stereotypical socially awkward person fawning and freaking out over a hottie they don’t know how to interact with. The guy was immediately struck by Cupid and into her without knowing her. That said, this movie has some very sweet and lovely moments (apples & oranges). And most of the Greek bits were funny, though I remain unsure if the Windex thing was made up or real.

As a competitive board game person, I deeply relate to Jason Bateman and Rachel McAdams’ characters. The guy that plays Winston in New Girl straight up just plays Winston in this. Jesse Plemons plays a great gag-character. The joke density is off the charts, especially in the front half of the movie before it starts getting more dramatic/suspenseful. Upon rewatch, this movie is so incredibly of the year 2018.

Love a who-dunnit even when I get fooled by a red herring. Some people might have been left wondering what happened immediately after this movie ends, but the question I kept wondering was “Does a police detective’s squad car not have a siren and only half the light beacons of a normal squad car?”

Get ready to see a surprising amount of Rene Russo’s breasts and Pierce Brosnan’s bare ass. Then, you’ll be left incredulous thinking about the mechanics of sex on a marble floor and staircase. Looks so uncomfortable… I think whoever made the music for the Zelda Breath of the Wild game ripped the Guardian theme music straight from this movie. Also, how do people keep falling for Trojan horses at this point?

AMAZE AMAZE AMAZE - I laughed, I cried, I repeated both multiple times. Incredible adaptation of an amazing book that was mostly faithful. Love a good puppet.

What an incredibly lovely movie! Memorable characters, a great story, and the perfect type of cheesy… all in under 100 minutes!

Not the most comedic romantic comedy IMO, but Julia Robert’s is incredibly beautiful and it’s a fun enough movie if you’re a normal person capable of not taking the premise seriously. Who knew Art Vandelay would be such a shark?

I was not prepared for this movie to be Uncut Gems, but ping pong.

It is insane how much Cousin Eddie looks like Dan Mullen.

Great cast. Better than #2. Didn’t like as much as #1, but approximately as good. At no point in this movie did I have an idea where it was going or a guess at who did the murder.

Watched this as a date movie, and that was a mistake. A very good and touching movie, but not a date movie. Love me some Paul Giamatti.

A very solid rom-com; give me more of these. Idk if this is hot take, but Charlee Fraser blows Sydney Sweeney out of the water on a per minute basis in this movie.

Too many different couples stories to get fully engaged with for maximum effect. The music in this went so hard and carries the emotional moments.

Starts off with a ton of hilarious/good cringe moments, then turns into a movie that really tries hard to be touching and succeeds for the most part.

This was a very good movie that I liked, but I just didn’t enjoy as much as everyone else who seems to think it’s PTA’s crowning achievement. All of the actors were great. Leo really sold being overly paranoid, but his acting performance was probably not even top 3 in the movie. Chase Infiniti was fantastic. This was my first time seeing her and I hope to see her in more things. My boy Benicio Del Toro was cool, calm, and collected as always. Sean Penn is a convincing villain with some nice facial prosthetics and off-putting facial/physical acting. Teyana Taylor was a force in her limited time on screen. The music was great - effectively building tension, setting up the comical scenes, and capping off the movie. Loved the sight gag of Leo falling off the roof through tree limbs then immediately getting tazed. I just didn’t like the general plot premise as much as I’d hoped and thought the whole prologue part was too long and made the overall movie too long.

Music isn’t that memorable, but the plot twist was fun. Sacha Baron Cohen gives a very strong brief appearance as an incredible caricature of an Italian man. The meat grinders were disgusting.

Harrison Ford, what a man.

If anyone ever asks for a bowl of water, just say no.

This movie is incredible. Kiera Knightley is adorable. Mathew MacFadyen makes it a fun rewatch post-Succession. I’ve never seen Rosamund Pike so bubbly lol. Shoutout to Mr. Bennet for being such an incredible father. It is so painful to watch Mrs. Bennet be so socially unaware at all times. The youngest sisters Kitty and Lydia are over-the-top annoying. All roles well-acted. Also, there are far too many people that own horses in this movie that are choosing to walk long distances for hours instead of riding.

Incredible sound, great action, fun movie! This movie really nails the “being rivals with your partner driver” aspect of F1. Also does a good job of hand-holding people being introduced to F1 for the first time without being to explain-y.

Simple concept of a movie done well. Honestly thought Julia Roberts felt a bit flat, but maybe that was just her character’s personality? Her “I’m just a girl…” line was a sweet moment that stood out because I finally actually felt the emotion. Hugh Grant was charming.

Final Reckoning is a great franchise finale, but is weighed down as an individual movie by trying a little too hard to be a finale with all the montage stuff, flashbacks, and references to the past movies. Still had a blast! Tom, you are the GOAT. The airplane stunt scene was so long in a good way, I couldn’t believe it. The dive scene was awesome too, but left me wondering how real it was compared to the air acrobatics. Tramell Tillman came in hot and was super fun in his limited role. The whole submarine crew was cool in general. Loved the way they brought back Donloe from the first movie and loved his dogs. There are some incredibly gratuitous cleavage shots of Hayley Atwell when she’s reviving Ethan Hunt in one scene. I hope Benji and Paris get married. RIP Luther, you were so cool.

This movie is filled with several incredibly powerful and emotional moments that make you believe in love that are interspersed with several incredibly funny moments of Tom Cruise being unintentionally funny. I aspire to be an Ambassador of Quan.

RIP my girl Ilsa Faust, you were a real one and my favorite of all the female MI roles. Please come back to life next movie. It’s so funny watching the White Widow flirt with Ethan Hunt because she’s the pinnacle of a 10-10 on the hot-crazy scale. Mantis from Avengers plays a top-notch henchman. Her clanking the pipe on the brick wall in the narrow alley was such a nice touch. Just when I think they’ve done every possible iteration of a European city car chase in this franchise, they surprise me with a fun new gimmick. The motorcycle cliff jump stunt was surreal. The climbing from falling train car to falling train car was possibly too similar in my mind to the Uncharted 2 video game scene, but I loved it nevertheless. This movie might be the most intentionally funny of the series, not sure if that is good or bad. Luther better working his magic on the source code off screen in time for Final Reckoning.

Probably the most underrated Star Wars movie. Hope you didn’t get attached to any of the characters. Had to rewatch this because of the Andor show.

Sinners is a blast! I dislike the “actor plays twins” gimmick, but it wasn’t a drag on this movie because Michael B Jordan was awesome and because I love the “movie takes place over a single day” gimmick. I’m not a huge horror/vampire movie person, but this movie is so many more things than that. Sinners felt very authentic to the Delta, its people, culture, and history. Best use of music I’ve seen in a while. Maybe Ludwig Goransson’s best work?

Loved the phrases “Japanese boy” and “flush rivets”. So much airplane. Did not expect this to be a sad movie, which made it feel so much more sad.

Love how all the plots weave together to form such a funny, touching, and inspirational story. The mini-golf fight was hilarious!

This is the perfect action movie. This Wolf Blitzer mask scene is the best one yet. A heartfelt send off for Hunley. His replacement, Sloane, is more than fills the shoes of the government higher up dubious of Hunt’s methods. Her scalpel/hammer bit was an incredible line and introduction to Walker who is an absolute force. Henry Cavill was so damn good. I’ve never seen anything like the skydiving lightning strike. The bathroom fight might be my favorite fist fight of the franchise. Vanessa Kirby is the pinnacle form of “insane seductress villain”. The Paris scenery was great throughout. Writing Julia back in could have been so sloppy, but this story fit wonderfully. Fallout has you in the edge of your seat the entire time. My one complaint is taking a missive spray of skydrol to the face should have immediately and permanently blinded someone, not turned them into Harvey Two-Face.

What more could you want? Tom Cruise hangs off the side of a military freight plane during takeoff. There’s a henchman named “Bone Doctor.” Another classic Ethan Hunt motorcycle chase. The Ilsa Faust character becomes an instant fan favorite for looking awesome every time she’s on screen. More mask hijnks. Solomon Lane plays the quiet omniscient villain so well and is arguably the best villain of the entire series. Best movie of the series so far.

Cruise to so much more charismatic than Renner it’s no surprise Brandt fails to stick in the series. This movie needed more Luther Stickell. Loved the prison break, the Kremlin hallway projector screen, the haboob chase, the BMW i8, the introduction to the car vending machine, and all of Paula Patton’s outfits.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman plays a strong villain for the limited time he’s actually doing stuff on screen. Less crazy action stunts that I like to see in a MI film and too many fire fights, but the face mask gimmick never fails to please me. Aaron Paul randomly playing Michelle Monaghan’s brother made me laugh.

Easily the worst MI film. Hilariously bad use of slow motion kicking/punching. Still gets 2 stars because we get the first Ethan Hunt motorcycle scene and Thandie Newton looked really good.

Great start to a great franchise. Movie really accelerates after the first half. The best/most ridiculous line of the entire movie: “But I was supremely confident, having tasted the goods.”

I expected this to be a light-hearted rom-com, but it had way more of the sad/tough parts of dating and relationships than I was expecting or wanted.

Wicked Part 1 was incredible! It’s a faithful adaptation of the Broadway musical. Ariana Grande knocked it out of the park. Excited for Part 2.

Meryl Streep scares me.